Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
