So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
