just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
