That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
