do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
