3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
