I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
