Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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