Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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