if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
