When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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