he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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