Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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