she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
