We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
