i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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