i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
