just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
