thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
