Don't make out with my wife yet
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
