I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
