I understand Curling. That high.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I party with great urgency now.
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