He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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