I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
