have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
