I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
