Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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