i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
