so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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