New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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