no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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