May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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