Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
