did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The Olympian is in my bed
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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