Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
