So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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