I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
