mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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