Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
