So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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