I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
