i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
