I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
