a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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