I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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