she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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