Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
