Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
