you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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