Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
