"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
