Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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