"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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