Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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