weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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