he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
